Doug’s Dynamic Drivel

Simply deliscious - go read it for yourself, and if you see yourself in this column , shame on you!

(YellowTimes.org) ? Anxious to stand on the “right” side of all televised debate? Sure, why not? After all, it’s fun - and profitable! Right wing pundits (RWPs) like Ann Coulter get on all the cable channels, plugging their books to earn fame and fortune. Why not you, too?

In the interests of “equal time,” YellowTimes.org has assembled the following proven method for attaining success as an RWP. We’ve examined the quotes, careers, and missteps of the Radical Right and distilled them into these easy-to-remember rules:

1.) Claim the moral high ground - and remember, it’s the ONLY high ground!

This is important: whatever you decree as The Correct Belief, it must always rest on the bedrock authority of the RWP’s “Holy Trinity”: God, the Flag, and the Founding Fathers. Everyone who disagrees is a Satanic flag-burning communist troll bent on America’s destruction.

You can’t let things get murky! They always have to be simple - tell America “this is the way God and the Founding Fathers intended us to run America.” There is no other way, after all, because any other way is, well, just wrong.

Say that the president is a wise leader, even when he shoots himself in the foot. And always claim that America is good, wise, and moral, even when American bombs destroy Afghan weddings.

2.) Tell everyone you’re in favor of families and “family values.”

Of course, almost everyone is in favor of these things - but only the Right Wing knows what’s best for them! And “family” is the RWP’s patented formula for success, because it spins every part of your agenda into a coherent whole.

In lean times like these, we can’t expect Americans to simultaneously accept agriculture subsidies for corporations, tuition vouchers for creation “science” education, AND more free-trade agreements unless these things are all “good for American families.” …read the rest at Yellow Times

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