Doug’s Dynamic Drivel

People who live in glass houses should make love in the basement.
Never read the fine print. There ain’t no way you’re going to like it.
If you let a smile be your umbrella, then most likely your butt will get soaking wet.
The only two things we do with greater frequency in middle age are urinate and [...]

I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with ‘Guess’ on it. I said, Thyroid problem?
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that The Lord doesn’t work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.
I’ve often wanted to drown [...]

Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent’s house to visit her 95-year-old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied,
“He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning.”
Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 [...]

At DukeUniversity, there were four sophomores taking Chemistry and all of them had an A so far. These four friends were so confident that the weekend before finals, they decided to visit some friends and have a big party. They had a great time, but after all the hearty partying, they slept all day Sunday [...]

Overheard:
Camilla is very pleased with the wedding arrangements, but has turned down the Queen’s generous offer of a weekend in Paris with a limo and driver.
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