Doug's Dynamic Drivel

Bush reign factoids

14 January, 2009 (20:39) | Political

From Harpers – not the full list, my commentary added

Year in which a political candidate first sued Palm Beach County over problems with hanging chads: 1984 (Bet s/he was a Democrat too)
Total amount the Bush campaign paid Enron and Halliburton for use of corporate jets during the 2000 recount: $15,400 (No conflict of interest there )
Percentage of Bush’s first 189 appointees who also served in his father’s administration: 42 (nepotism or necrophilia you choose)
Minimum number of Bush appointees who have regulated industries they used to represent as lobbyists: 98 (No conflict of interest there )
Months before September 11, 2001, that Cheney’s Energy Task Force investigated Iraq’s oil resources: 6 (I’m shocked I say shocked)
Hours after the 9/11 attacks that an Alaska congressman speculated they may have been committed by “eco-terrorists”: 9 (explain Palin don’t it – must be the air up there)
Date on which the first contract for a book about September 11 was signed: 9/13/01 (That’s good old Yankee capitalism for you)
Number of Middle Eastern, South Asian, and North African men detained in the U.S. in the eight weeks after 9/11: 1,182 (so few was Brownie in charge?)
Number of them ever charged with a terrorism-related crime: 0 (I’m shocked I say shocked)
Number charged with an immigration violation: 762 (9/11 the best thing to ever happen to the INS)
Minimum number of calls the FBI received in fall 2001 from Utah residents claiming to have seen Osama bin Laden: 20 (Mitch Romney your relatives have bee found)
Number of box cutters taken from U.S. airline passengers since January 2002: 105,075 (domestic tererists evry one)
Percentage of Americans in 2006 who believed that U.S. Muslims should have to carry special I.D.: 39 (that way we can identify the 61% that can’t be trusted)
Estimated total calories members of Congress burned giving Bush’s 2002 State of the Union standing ovations: 22,000 ( that explains all the pork)
Percentage of the amendments in the Bill of Rights that are violated by the USA PATRIOT Act, according to the ACLU: 50 (I just can’t make light of this)
Minimum number of laws that Bush signing statements have exempted his administration from following: 1,069 (or this)
Estimated number of U.S. intelligence reports on Iraq that were based on information from a single defector: 100 (another get rich quick scheme)
Number of times the defector had ever been interviewed by U.S. intelligence agents: 0 (Bernie Madoff eat your heart out this guy’s a master scammer)
Days after the U.S. invaded Iraq that Sony trademarked “Shock & Awe” for video games: 1 (never buy from Sony again)
Days later that the company gave up the trademark, citing “regrettable bad judgment”: 25 (too late)
Factor by which an Iraqi in 2006 was more likely to die than in the last year of the Saddam regime: 3.6 (making Iraq and the world safer for Democracy
Factor by which the cause of death was more likely to be violence: 120 (Ibid)
Chance that an Iraqi has fled his or her home since the beginning of the war: 1 in 6 (Ibid)
Portion of Baghdad residents in 2007 who had a family member or friend wounded or killed since 2003: 3/4 (Ibid)
Percentage of U.S. veterans from the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan who have filed for disability with the VA: 35
Chance that an Iraq war veteran who has served two or more tours now has post-traumatic stress disorder: 1 in 4
Number of all U.S. war veterans who have been denied Veterans Administration health care since 2003: 452,677 (support the troops – don’t forget your yellow ribbon now!
Number of eligibility restrictions for admission into the Army that have been loosened since 2003: 9 (no problem finding suicidally depressed youths now)
Percentage change from 2004 to 2007 in the number of Army recruits admitted despite having been charged with a felony: +295 (Americans should fear their armed forces – felonious Christians – excuse the redundancy)
Estimated total miles he has ridden his bike as president: 5,400 (and here we thought exercise made you smarter)
Portion of his presidency he has spent at or en route to vacation spots: 1/3 (nice work if you can get it and you can get it if you lie)
Minimum number of times that Frederick Douglass was beaten in what is now Donald Rumsfeld’s vacation home: 25 (Of course that didn’t play any part in Donnie boy’s buying the place now then did it)
Minimum number of detainees who were tortured to death in U.S. custody: 8 (the US does not condone torture, unless they do it then it isn’t torture, just enhanced interrogation)
Minimum number of extraordinary renditions that the United States has made since 2006: 200 (free flights to exotic places, no holds barred)
Date on which USA Today added Guantánamo to its weather map: 1/3/05 (words fail me)
Number of incidents of torture on prime-time network TV shows from 2002 to 2007: 897 (Go Jack go)
Number on shows during the previous seven years: 110
Percentage change since 2000 in U.S. emigration to Canada: +79 (gotta love it the best and the brightest coming north)
Seconds it took a Maryland consultant in 2004 to pick a Diebold voting machine’s lock and remove its memory card: 10 (first order of business for President Obama should be clean up the voting booths)
Portion of all U.S. income gains during the Bush Administration that have gone to the top 1 percent of earners: 3/4 (let ‘em eat cake)
Increase since 2000 in the number of Americans living at less than half the federal poverty level: 3,500,000 (let’s hear it for trickle down economics – yeah Chicago)
Percentage change since 2001 in the average amount U.S. workers spend on out-of-pocket medical expenses: +172 (Hello Canada)
Estimated percentage by which Social Security benefits would have declined if Bush’s privatization plan had passed: –15 (But you don’t say how many wall streeters would have had much better retirements – shame)
Percentage change since 2002 in the number of U.S. teens using illegal drugs: –9 (they’ll learn, wisdom comes with age)
Percentage change in the number of adults in their fifties doing so: +121 (A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do to survive)
Years since a White House official as senior as I. Lewis Libby had been indicted while in office: 130 (Hey Scooter – you win alright!)
Number of U.S. cities and towns that have passed resolutions calling for the impeachment of President Bush: 92 (that few? Boy he’s more popular than I thought)
Percentage change since 2001 in U.S. government spending on paper shredding: +466 (Cheney needs the extra roughage for his colon)
Change since 2001 in the percentage of Americans who believe humans are causing climate change: –4 (now that is sad)
Rank of Nevaeh, “heaven” spelled backward, among the fastest growing names given to American newborns since 2000: 1 (Hallelujah brothers and sisters Hallelujah – we has dummed down da USA)
Months, beginning in 2001, that the federal government’s online condom fact sheet disappeared from its website : 17 (Ibid)
Minimum amount that religious groups received in congressional earmarks from 2003 to 2006: $209,000,000 (Ibid)
Amount such groups received during the previous fourteen years: $107,000,000 (Ibid)
Percentage change from 2003 to 2007 in the amount of money invested in U.S. faith-based mutual funds: +88 (Ibid)
Average annualized percentage return during that time in the Christian and Muslim funds, respectively: +11, +15 (Ibid)
Ratio of the entire U.S. federal budget in 1957, adjusted for inflation, to the amount spent so far on the Iraq war: 1:1 (crank up the presses)
Estimated amount Bush-era policies will cost the U.S. in new debt and accrued obligations: $10,350,000,000,000 (pocket change)
Number of words in the first sentence of Bill Clinton’s memoir and in that of George W. Bush’s, respectively: 49, 5 (it speaks for itself)
Average percentage of Americans who approved of the job Bush was doing during his second term: 37
Percentage of Russians today who approve of the direction their country took under Stalin: 37 (Ibid)