Biker Test
21 Dumb things Bikers do
Those of you who have ever owned a motorcycle should be able to identify with this list; the rest of you may just smirk
Consider the questions as situation specific not place specific. If you are or were a rider copy this to your own blog and bold or italicize those you have done
- Spend 5 minutes kicking and kicking and cussing, ‘cos the pig-obstinate beast won’t start, then notice you left the ignition switch at KILL
- Riding on the Autobahn, betting with yourself that the ‘Reserve’ tank light will last another 3 miles.
- Push the bike 3 miles to the next gas station; extra points for it being a hot and humid day or even raining
- At the gas station/clubhouse/cafe´ forget to take your earplugs out and wonder why nobody is talking to you today?
- Doing your own oil change, pour the full measure of fresh oil into the engine after draining off the old, but forgot to replace the sump plug.
- Park the bike on soft ground using only the sidestand.
- Park the bike pointing downhill but forget to put it in gear
- Buy velcro-mountable knee-sliders, then fail to get ground contact and turn up at the bike-meet wearing virgin sliders.
- Fall asleep during the open-air midnight showing of ‘Easy Rider’
- Forget to remove the discbrake lock before moving off ! (never had them in my day – DA )
- Full of pseudo-racer pride, reverse the gear-change scheme then forget on the 2nd outing that you’d done so
- Overpower a wheelie, or overbrake a stoppie
- When it starts to rain, pull over under an Autobahn bridge and struggle into your old rainsuit (which appears to shrink every year),put your thick rain-gloves on, then put the over-gloves on, THEN remember the ignition key is in your inside pocket
- Chat up a decorative Hells Angels / Harley chick, while riding a japanese rice-rocket yourself. Oops. (No comment )
- Put your wallet containing your credit cards (but very little actual cash) at the bottom of a magnetic tankbag.
- Wait 2 hours (with a nearly empty tank) at noon in the scorching sun at a spanish gas-station for it to re-open after the siesta. (Likely would have if I had ever ridden to Mexico DA )
- Ride all the way through Germany and Switzerland to camp at Lake Gardasee, arrive after dusk, and discover you brought the tent but left the poles at home
- Use red loctite on the valve covers instead of green by mistake.
- Ride so fast your magnetic mapholder blows off the tank top, so you don’t know how to get to your destination. (My maps were always inside the clear plastic cover of my tank bag DA)
- Ride so fast , you lose the group you’re supposed to be leading
- Outside the ice-cream parlour, hang your helmet on your new low-rider bike so low that passing tall dogs can piss in it
To these I would add
- Pass an outlaw motorcycle club on the highway, on a rice burner, doing 100+ Mph
- Honking at them as you pass and waving bye bye
- Setting out on a long trip in May and forgetting your rain suit and not discovering that until 775km later (Prince George) when you look out the hotel window and discover it’s pouring out and you still have 720km (Prince Rupert)to go. it’s a Sunday and it’s hard to find anything open that can sell you something to replace it
- Wear an electric vest (with a rheostat) to extend your riding season
