Helpful Advice
22 June, 2006 (05:56) | Lists
- If you are choking on an ice cube, don’t panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly removed.
- Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
- Don’t buy expensive ‘ribbed’ condoms, just buy an ordinary one and slip a handful of frozen peas inside it before you put it on.
- Putting just the right amount of gin in your goldfish bowl makes the fishes’ eyes bulge and causes them to swim in an amusing manner.
- An empty aluminum cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes a wonderful inexpensive vibrator
- Avoid arguments with the missus about lifting the toilet seat by simply peeing in the sink.
- High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.
- A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button.
- If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough
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