Ways to Deal With Stress
22 June, 2006 (05:53) | Lists
- Bill your doctor for time spent in his waiting room.
- Braid the hairs in each nostril.
- Buy a box of condoms. Ask the cashier where the fitting rooms are, and ask for help.
- Buy a subscription to “Sleazoid Weekly” and send it to your boss’s wife.
- Dance naked in front of your pets.
- Do your computer programming assignments in binary code.
- Drive to work in reverse.
- During your next meeting, sneeze and then loudly suck the mucous back down your throat.
- Fill out your tax form using Roman Numerals.
- Find out what a frog in a blender really looks like.
- Forget the Diet Center and send yourself a candygram.
- Go shopping. Buy everything. Sweat in it. Return it the next day.
- Jam miniature marshmallows up your nose and sneeze them out. See how many you can do at a time.
- Leaf through “National Geographic” and draw underwear on the natives.
- Lie on your back eating celery; using your navel as a salt dipper.
- Make a list of things to do that you have already done.
- Make up a language and ask people for directions in it.
- Pay your electric bill in pennies.
- Polish your car with earwax.
- Pop some popcorn without putting the lid on.
- Put your toddler’s clothes on backwards and send him to pre-school as if nothing is wrong.
- Read the dictionary backwards and look for subliminal messages.
- Read the dictionary upside down and look for secret messages.
- Refresh yourself, put your tongue on a cold steel guardrail.
- Relax by mentally reflecting on your favourite episode of The Flinstones during that important finance meeting.
- Replace the filling of a Twinkie with ketchup and put it back in the wrapper.
- Retaliate for tax woes by filling out your tax forms with Roman numerals.
- Sit naked on a shelled hard-boiled egg.
- Stare at people through the tines of a fork and pretend they’re in jail.
- Start a nasty rumor and see if you recognize it when it comes back to you.
- Tape pictures of your boss on watermelons and launch them from high places.
- Tattoo “Out to Lunch” on your forehead.
- Tell you boss to “blow it out your mule” and let him figure it out.
- Use your Mastercard to pay your Visa bill and vice-versa.
- When someone says “have a nice day”, tell them you have other plans.
- Write a short story using alphabet soup.
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