Doug’s Divine Drollery

A right-lane construction closure is just a game to see how many people can cut in line by passing you on the right as you sit in the left lane waiting for the same drivers to squeeze their way back in before hitting the orange construction barrels.
Turn signals will give away your next [...]

Are you feeling old?
If not, consider this:

The people who are starting college this fall across the nation were born in 1980.
The Iranian hostage crisis occurred before they were conceived.
They have no memory of a time before M-TV.
“New Wave” is their PARENTS musical generation.
Cyndi Lauper, Boy George, the Pretenders, the Kinks, the Sex Pistols — are [...]

1) Alien beings from a highly advanced society visit the Earth, and
you are the first human they encounter. As a token of intergalactic
friendship, they present you with a small but incredibly sophisticated
device that is capable of curing all disease, providing an infinite
supply of clean energy, wiping out hunger and poverty, and permanently
eliminating oppression and [...]

The following are reported accounts of actual exchanges between airlines and control towers from around the world sent to me by a commercial pilot acquaintance of mine.

During taxi, the crew of a US Air departure flight to Ft. Lauderdale, made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727. The irate ground [...]

How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
Well, if you have a body, and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
How could that be true? Your heart is only good for [...]

Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. They loaded up Bob’s mini van and headed North. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. They pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.
“I realize it’s terrible [...]

Stage 1 - SMART
This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the known Universe. You know everything and want to pass on your knowledge to anyone who will listen. At this stage you are always RIGHT. And of course the person you are talking to is very WRONG. This makes for [...]

It is well documented that for every minute that you exercise, you add one minute to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5000 per month.
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. Now she’s 97 years old [...]