Doug’s Divine Drollery

Dear Mom & Dad,
Our Scoutmaster told us to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and are worried. We are okay. Only one of our tents and two sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily, none of us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for Adam [...]

A drunk man walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar and orders a drink.
Looking around, he sees three men sitting at a corner table. He gets up, staggers to the table,leans over, looks the biggest, meanest, biker in the face and says: “I went by your grandma’s house today and I saw [...]

A little boy wanted $100.00 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened. Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100.00. When the postal authorities received the letter to God, Canada, they decided to send it to the Prime Minister.
Harper was so amused that he instructed his secretary to send the [...]

A crusty old Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation.
“Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?”
“Negative, ma’am. [...]

Two boys are playing hockey on a frozen pond in Red Deer, Alberta, when one of the boys is suddenly attacked by a crazed Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy takes his hockey stick, shoves it under the dog’s collar, twists it, and breaks the dog’s neck, saving his friend.
A reporter is [...]

This just in:
Apple Computer reported today that it has developed computer chips that can store and play music inside women’s breasts. This is considered to be a major breakthrough because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.

A Professor was giving a lecture on “Involuntary Muscular Contractions” to his first year medical students.
Realizing that this was not the most riveting subject, the Professor decided to lighten the mood slightly.
He pointed to a young woman in the front row and said, “Do you know what your ass hole is doing while you’re [...]

The following letters are taken from an actual incident between a
London hotel and one of it’s guests. The Hotel ended up submitting
the letters to the London Sunday Times!

Dear Maid,
Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please [...]

On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence.
One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts.
“One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me,” said one [...]