Doug’s Divine Drollery

Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on their usual park bench one morning. The 87 year old had just finished his morning jog and wasn’t even short of breath. The 80 year old was amazed at his friend’s stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy.
The 87 [...]

HOW TO POOP AT WORK
We’ve all been there, but don’t like to admit it. We’ve all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly felt something brewing down below. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the “Work Poop” is inevitable.
For those who hate pooping at work, what follows is the Survival [...]

A lot of you probably don’t know that I have been very busy over the past two years putting my thoughts and ideas together in a book about Golf.
I am very proud of the results and in order to market the publication, I am asking friends and family to be the first to own a [...]

Airplanes usually kill you quickly, a woman takes her time.
Airplanes can be turned on by a flick of a switch.
Airplanes don’t get mad if you do a “touch and go”.
Airplanes don’t object to a preflight inspection.
Airplanes come with manuals to explain their operation.
Airplanes have strict weight and balance limitations.
Airplanes don’t come with in-laws.
Airplanes don’t care [...]

A fire started on some grasslands near a farm. The county fire department was called to put out the fire. The fire was more than the county fire department could handle. Someone suggested that a nearby volunteer bunch be called. Despite some doubt that the volunteer outfit would be of any assistance, the call was [...]

The most functional word in the English language is Shit.
That’s right, shit! Consider this:
You can be shit faced, shit out of luck, or have shit for brains. With a little effort, you can get your shit together, find a place for your shit or, decide to shit or get off the pot.
You can smoke shit, [...]

Two strangers are sitting in an adjacent seats in airplane. One guy says to the other, “Let’s talk. I hear that the flight will go faster if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.”
The other guy, who had just opened a good book, closes it slowly, takes off his glasses and asks, “What [...]

When I was a kid adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious lectures about how hard things were when they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning uphill both ways through year ’round blizards carrying their younger siblings on their backs to their one-room schoolhouse where they [...]

A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.
Indeed, the ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch, fell to [...]

And haven’t we all been here at one time or another
One Star Hangover (*)
No pain. No real feeling of illness. You’re able to function relatively well. However, you are still parched. You can drink 5 sodas and still feel this way. For some reason, you are craving a steak & fries.
Two Star Hangover [...]

A guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asks, “How long before I can get a haircut?”
The barber looks around the shop and says, “About 2 hours.”
The guy leaves.
A few days later the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks, ” How long before I can get a haircut?”
The barber [...]