Doug's Divine Drollery

A Jewish daughter says to her mother, “I’m divorcing Irv. All he Wants is sex, sex and more sex. My vagina is now the size of a 50-cent piece When it used to be the size of a nickel.” Her mother says, “You’re married to a multi-millionaire businessman, you live in an 8 Bedroom mansion, [...]

Boudreaux and Thibodeaux were sitting in back of their trailers shooting the breeze. Bou ask Thib, “If I snuck ovah to yore house while you wuz out fishin an’ made love to your wife, an’ she got pregnant, would dat make us kin?” Thib scratched his head for a bit then said, “I don’t think [...]

“But my elderly aunt was considered a highly respectable spinster!” the society matron protested. “Can’t you find some way to cover up the shocking fact that she died in bed while being simultaneously serviced by two paid studs? “You just leave it to me, Mrs. Van Horn,” soothed the police officer. “I’ll just put it [...]

Only in Italian Families

A drunken man walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar and orders a drink Looking around, he sees three men sitting at a corner table. He gets up, staggers to the table, leans over, looks the biggest, meanest, biker in the face and says: ‘I went by your grandma’s house today and [...]

A Jewish woman says to her mother, “I’m divorcing Jeff! All he wants is sex, sex, sex……..and my vagina is now the size of a 50-cent piece when it used to be about the size of a nickel.” To this, her mother says, “You’re married to a multi-millionaire businessman, you live in an 8-bedroom mansion, [...]

An Australian guy goes into a bar in the Greek Islands. Jill, the Australian barmaid takes his order and notices his Australian accent. Over the course of the night they talk quite a bit. At the end of the night he asks her if she wants to have sex with him. Although she is attracted [...]

The boy takes the girlfriend back to her home after being out together, and when they reach the front door he leans with one hand on the wall and says to her, “Sweetie, why don’t you give me a blowjob?”. “What ? You’re crazy???!!!” “Don’t worry, it will be quick, no problem.” “No!! Someone may [...]

A man boarded a plane with six kids. After they got settled in their seats a woman sitting across the aisle from him leaned over to him and asked, “Are all of those kids yours ? ” He replied, ” No Ma’am, I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints. ” DAMN, I [...]

A six year old goes to the hospital with her grandmother to visit her Grandpa. When they get to the hospital, she runs ahead of her Grandma and bursts into her Grandpa’s room … “Grandpa, Grandpa,” she says excitedly, “As soon as Grandma comes into the room, make a noise like a frog!” “What?” said [...]

Shane invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal his mother couldn’t help noticing how beautiful Shane’s roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between Shane and his roommate and this only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder [...]

The first man married a woman from Italy. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning.. It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away. The second man married a woman from the Phillipines. [...]

One evening after work several guys were going out to have a drink and they were trying to convince a married friend that he should come, too. “I can’t,” the man said, “my wife would kill me.” After 15 minutes of persuasion by his friends he finally caves in and goes. Later, looking at his [...]

THE PERFECT BREAKFAST.as a man sees it… You’re sitting at the table and your son is on the cover of the box of Wheaties. Your mistress is on the cover of Playboy. And your wife is on the back of the milk carton. WHY MEN GET OUT OF BED.. A recent survey was conducted to [...]

Once there was a young Iranian newlywed couple driving down a Los Angeles freeway. They were having a heated argument, the wife having just learned that her husband was already cheating on her! “How could you do this?!” the wife exclaimed. “I can’t believe you would have the nerve to cheat on me – and [...]

A clergyman, walking down a country lane, saw a young farmer struggling to load hay back onto a cart after it had fallen off. “You look tired, my son,” said the cleric. “Why don’t you rest a moment, and I’ll give you a hand.” “No thanks,” replied the young man. “My father wouldn’t like it.” [...]

A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father who was a minister, if they could discuss the use of the car. His father took him to his study and said to him, “I’ll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your bible a little and get [...]

A woman is making love to her lover in her house during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman’s husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the [...]

Four Catholic mothers are sitting around bragging about their sons, each of whom is a priest. First mother says, “My son is a monsignor, and when he walks in the room, people greet him ‘Good morning, monsignor.’” Second mother says, “Well, my son is a Bishop, and people greet him ‘Good morning, your Grace.’” Third [...]

Son: Dad, I have a special report for school. Can I ask you a question? Dad: Sure son, what’s the question? Son: What is politics? Dad: Well son, let’s take our home for example. I am the wage earner, so let’s call me the management. Your mother is the administrator of the money, so let’s [...]

Come, kinderlech, come, nosh a bissel, sit and listen to your Mama, She Who Knows Best–what do you mean, why do I know best? Because I’m you’re mother, that’s why! Now sit and listen, after all the aggravation I’ve had with you! Oy! But you’re a good kid, so I don’t mind all the tsoris. [...]