Doug’s Divine Drollery

Brenda and Steve took their six-year-old son to the doctor.
With some hesitation, they explained that although their little angel appeared to be in good health, they were concerned about his rather small penis.
After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared, ‘Just feed him pancakes. That should solve the problem.’
The next morning when the boy arrived [...]

The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex.
Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely impact the family’s status, she consulted the family doctor.
The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful and any attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion. He then told her [...]

In 1993, the University of Kentucky did a study to see why the head of a man’s penis was larger than the shaft.
After one year and $ 80,000.00, they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the man more pleasure during sex.
After the study was published, the [...]

It had taken him several months, but the executive vice president had finally persuaded his new secretary to bend over the back of his leather couch and allow him to have [tag]sex [/tag]with her that way.
“And just where have you been until this hour?” demanded his wife, when the wayward husband finally arrived home.
“Down at [...]

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We make [tag]great commercials[/tag] here in [tag]Canada[/tag] NSFW
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Oh ya and [tag]Terra[/tag] does make great [tag]boots[/tag]

A beautiful woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn’t seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. One day, while taking a stroll, she came upon a gentleman neighbor who had the most beautiful garden full of huge red tomatoes. The woman asked the gentlemen, “What do you do to get your tomatoes so red?”
The [...]

We’ve all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition for each is listed below…
GUTS – is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the [...]

So you think you’re having a bad day?

A man is showering up in a locker room with his buddy when he notices his friend is very well endowed.
“Damn Bob, you’re hung!” Jim exclaims.
“I wasn’t always this impressive; I had to work for it.”
“What do you mean?” Jim asked.
“Well, every day for the past two years I’ve spent an hour each night rubbing [...]

I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

I do physical labour
I work at great depths
I work head first
I do not get RDO’s, weekends off or public holidays
I work in a damp environment
I don’t get paid overtime or shift penalties
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
I work in [...]

[tags]oral sex,sex,jokes,humour,humor,funny,not PC[/tags]

On Saturday afternoon, I was sitting in my lawn chair, drinking beer and watching my wife mow the lawn.
The neighbor lady from across the street was so outraged that she came over and shouted at me, “You should be hung!”
I took a drink from my can of Coors Light, wiped the cold foam from my [...]

Dave walks into a bar and sees John sittin at the end of the bar counter with a great big smile on his face.
Dave says “John what are you so happy for?”
“Well Dave, I gotta tell ya… Yesterday I was out waxin’ my boat, just waxin’ my boat, and a redhead came up to me… [...]

Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all. One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.
As he [...]

Fathers Pietro and George are in a Vatican bathroom using the urinals.
Father Pietro looks at the other priest’s equipment and notices there’s a
Nicoderm patch on the shaft of his rather large penis.
He looks over and says, “Father George, I believe you’re supposed to put that
patch on your arm or shoulder, not down there!”
Father George replies, [...]

I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, “How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?” – Melinda Lowe, 39, Seguin TX
An insurance man visited me at home to talk about our mortgage insurance. He was throwing a lot of facts and [...]

A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.
Indeed, the ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch, fell to [...]

Two dwarfs go into a bar, where they pick up two prostitutes and take them to their separate hotel rooms.
The first dwarf, however, is unable to get an erection. His depression is made worse by the fact that, from the next room, he hears his little friend shouting out cries of “Here I come again… [...]

A little boy wanted $100.00 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened. Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100.00. When the postal authorities received the letter to God, Canada, they decided to send it to the Prime Minister.
Harper was so amused that he instructed his secretary to send the [...]

A crusty old Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation.
“Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?”
“Negative, ma’am. [...]

A guy is walking through a circus fairground one day, when he notices a stunning woman sprawled on the ground unconscious. Kneeling next to the beauty, he lightly slaps her face. No response. Then he rubs her wrists. Nothing. He even tries mouth to mouth. The gorgeous woman does not respond. Finally, the guy takes [...]

It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the admittance policy. The new law was that in order to get into Heaven, you had to have a really bad day on the day that you died. The policy would go into effect at noon the next day.
So, the next day [...]

THE PRINCESS
Once upon a time there lived a king. The king had a beautiful daughter, the princess. But there was a problem. Everything the princess touched would melt. No matter what; metal, wood, plastic – anything she touched would melt. Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her. The king [...]

Gennaro is in this country for only 6 months. He walks to work 20 blocks every day and passes a shoe store. Each day he stops and looks in the window to admire the Boccelli leather shoes. He wants those shoes so much… it’s all he can think about.
After about 2 months he saves the [...]